As the end of tonight’s episode came closer my wife kept proclaiming that “your guy” is going to go home, meaning Stefan. I couldn’t explain to her that I didn’t really like Stefan, but he’s a great chef. Did that stop her from continually harassing me about being wrong in my Top Chef predictions? Nope. There are just some people you can’t watch Top Chef with, and my wife is one of them. She’s a jerk.
Jacques Pepin, Lidia Bastianich, Wylie Dufresne, Susan Ungaro, Marcus Samuelsson, oh my. Tonight’s episode of Top Chef encompassed all that has been awry with this season, and all of the potential it may have had. Boring is what I would call the cheftestants this season. Aside from the charm of Fabio as he does a roast chicken “prepar-ed” as traditionally as possible the chef’s this season are just not interesting. But what they do have is simple technique. I think in the last few weeks crazy Carla has gotten more comfortable with the challenge aspect and has let her culinary school technique shine. And of course Stefan is refined more often than not.
So it was with great joy that we got to see the cheftestants prepare a Quickfire based on the most humble of ingredients: the incredible edible egg. As everyone was running around trying to make egg white sushi wrap, panna cotta with mango puree to look like a poached egg, and whatever other nonsense they could think of, Carla stuck with simple eggs and ham for guest judge Wylie Dufresne. Hosea thought Carla’s Green Eggs and Ham was too simple. She was wrong; because it was the only version of that dish I’ve seen not resembling leprechaun puke. Chef Dufresne agreed that the simplistic one treatment approach is what should win Carla the Quickfire.
During the Elimination Competition I had to endure more of my wife’s heckling as she asked when Donald Trump joined Top Chef, meaning Jacques Pepin. “Is that Donald Trump’s dad?” I told you she was a jerk. Ah yes, Jacques Pepin was on Top Chef this week. Possibly the greatest culinary technician to ever exist and somehow Top Chef convinced him to allow some TV contestants cook for him what he would want for a Last Supper.
OK, let’s break down the Elimination Challenge. The cheftestants drew knives that corresponded with a great mind in the culinary world and were assigned to make one dish that these esteemed culinary figures would wish for as a last meal. Fabio got Lidia Bastianich, who desired roast chicken and potatoes; Stefan got Marcus Samuelsson who wanted salmon and spinach; Leah got Wylie Dufresne, who was looking for eggs benedict; Carla got Jacques Pepin, who desired roasted squab and fresh peas; finally Hosea got Susan Ungaro, who wanted shrimp scampi and tomatoes Provencal.
During the cooking process Fabio somehow broke his finger, which frustrated him to no end but provided us with more of the typical Fabio entertainment. As he fumbled with potatoes he moaned and complained in his heavy accent that he wasn’t sure how he could peel everything he needed to. I think some of the others, like Hosea, should have worried about breaking tradition. There was no instruction on whether the diners wanted a traditional version of the dishes, or something with a twist. Personally is someone asks for tomatoes Provencal as a “Last Supper,” I’m going to assume they want it done as classically as possible. After all that’s likely the way a mother or grandmother would have prepared the dish.
So yes, Hosea tried to fancy his dish up. Stefan proclaimed that he thought he’d win with his creamed spinach and dill sauce to accompany the salmon. “I know how to cook fish.” Uh huh, too bad every person eating it said it was overcooked. Leah was looking at her near perfect hollandaise sauce and decided it needed to be thinner. My god people, these are old school culinary gods. They know that hollandaise is supposed to be thick and rich. This new thinking of a thinner hollandaise sauce just won’t cut it. Fabio and Carla both went simple, and perfect. Traditional spices and aromatics for Fabio’s roast chicken, and Carla was bold enough to do just a squab with a side dish of peas with tarragon. I thought her dish looked superb, although I’m sure there were many snooty fans out there who believed it was too boring and simple. You’re cooking roast squab and peas for Jacques Pepin, that’s the time to pull back and do a perfect job on those two items.
Perfect Carla was as everyone declared her peas one of the best things over the course of the entire meal. Carla did state she felt the squab was overcooked, but Jacques told her it was perfect too. But it was Fabio’s dish that took the prize this week. Although Wylie Dufresne did say his side salad looked like an airplane salad. “I’ll go in the back and shoot myself for making airplane food.” Ah, he’s just so frickin’ charming.
On the flip side Stefan and Hosea tried too hard and came up short, but it was Leah who was sent packing. Hah! Stefan stays in as the cheftestants head to New Orleans for a date with Emeril Lagasse.
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